I found something!!!!......... It just cant be soothing than this....Time to GIVE UP on certain things and MOVE AHEAD with certain things! :-D
Things were tried, Sleepless nights were spent, Plans were made, People were consulted, Attempts were made, Opportunity cost was paid.....hmmmm....But after traveling this far i still think it might be long way ahead....and who knows...and who knows....whats there at the end...maybe nothing.
If people postulated laws, here is what i've got.....If its not happening then, most likely its not needed/Important for you.....most undermined fact while crafting a desire is RATIONALE about the desire. Things are desired in the moments when we just want it desperately.....desperation is always ambivalent. "ROLE THE DICE" "ROLE THE DICE"...goddammit I ROLED IT...nd the number i got is still not good for me.!!!
Cause the change and embrace the good/bad coming from change.....bad things are part and parcel but if change is not caused then chances of getting good also dies!!!
I refuse to go to the end!!!....I move ahead and who knows there something waiting for me at the next turn.....
If there has been a really happy moment thn that is now :D......i am charged up and things are looking up already...I know departure is never a good moment...and it will not be here as well!!!
But the fact remains I found something and i am going to stick to the found something :D
Monday, August 21, 2017
Flash a Smile....
Flash a smile and open the door again
Let me buy a drink again and buy me one more day
Let me take you to the places where we made promises
Let me take you to the bushes where we first kissed
Flash a smile and allow me to speak again
I know I had never been as you expected
Beg you to believe that I always wanted but didn’t know how
If I could know it this time, I’ll try to make it up to you again
Flash a smile and let me touch you again
Let’s lie down again and let me wrap you again
I still have the sheets unwashed to keep your smell
Give me a chance to wash them again
Flash a smile and give the missing chance to me
You said you have forgotten me, I know you had been lying
I saw you smelling my sweater from your closet every night
I saw you buying flowers in the morning and feeling my presence in the smell of flower
Let me buy a drink again and buy me one more day
Let me take you to the places where we made promises
Let me take you to the bushes where we first kissed
Flash a smile and allow me to speak again
I know I had never been as you expected
Beg you to believe that I always wanted but didn’t know how
If I could know it this time, I’ll try to make it up to you again
Flash a smile and let me touch you again
Let’s lie down again and let me wrap you again
I still have the sheets unwashed to keep your smell
Give me a chance to wash them again
Flash a smile and give the missing chance to me
You said you have forgotten me, I know you had been lying
I saw you smelling my sweater from your closet every night
I saw you buying flowers in the morning and feeling my presence in the smell of flower
Lost part!!!!
"Every battle starts to conquer something tangible....
but in the end it just turns out to be winning it...
what u gain or loose pretty much losses the meaning...!!"
I lost a part of me the day this happened. To be honest this is the second time I lost a part of me. Leaving me two less of what i had. I tried to crib about it many times, but i as it turned out there was no one who is listening. I cribbed and listened to it myself.
In this past life of mine which is sizable in terms of duration but shorter in terms of living, i see loosing even a penny of yourself would be sizable.
It happened and I took it like this is tragedy that will shape me for coming life.
It happened again and i failed to appreciate the positives a failure could have.
Now.................................what i am left with!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am sick of laughing at my failures............
i am sick of finding ways to overcome the frustration of failure....
I am sick of smiling in front of people in the morning when i know i celebrated the grief of my failure last night...
i am sick of being the part of this human race which doesn't give a damn about what happens to you until something happens to them.....
Humanity was lost the moment this whole world was populated with humans. Maybe this is why people came up with this
word, to keep its existence at least in the form of group of letters with meaning.
Deep down this question is haunting me and will always haunt me "was it me or....??"
but in the end it just turns out to be winning it...
what u gain or loose pretty much losses the meaning...!!"
I lost a part of me the day this happened. To be honest this is the second time I lost a part of me. Leaving me two less of what i had. I tried to crib about it many times, but i as it turned out there was no one who is listening. I cribbed and listened to it myself.
In this past life of mine which is sizable in terms of duration but shorter in terms of living, i see loosing even a penny of yourself would be sizable.
It happened and I took it like this is tragedy that will shape me for coming life.
It happened again and i failed to appreciate the positives a failure could have.
Now.................................what i am left with!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am sick of laughing at my failures............
i am sick of finding ways to overcome the frustration of failure....
I am sick of smiling in front of people in the morning when i know i celebrated the grief of my failure last night...
i am sick of being the part of this human race which doesn't give a damn about what happens to you until something happens to them.....
Humanity was lost the moment this whole world was populated with humans. Maybe this is why people came up with this
word, to keep its existence at least in the form of group of letters with meaning.
Deep down this question is haunting me and will always haunt me "was it me or....??"
Transience
“Sometimes you get what you love, sometimes you have to love what you get..but if you play nice in both!!!you always end up doing what you love.
I just got back from university. Enjoying the liberty of living in the calm country side kinda place I seldom see more than two people or two- three cars every time I walk out or into my house. This calm lake side, which has few villas( mostly made up of woods and sitting independently with a lawn) and populated by the people who have already seen the whole world and came here to live in peace and natural beauty.
The place which allows enough of pure distilled air to enter your lungs, making sure you feel the state of tranquillity. I clearly see how this place successfully running away from all the labyrinth of the contemporary world. I can see how my emotions (all of them) are gaining some tangible existence. This place which gave classification to all forms of feelings which were all messed up earlier.
Strolling in the living room sipping through coffee it just struck me... do I really like it or just flowing through the waves? I should be a normal being cribbing, questioning, dissatisfied and should be buying daily digest of “the grass is greener on the other side”. But I don’t feel anything of that sort!!!!
What happened to the idea that old man gave to me!!!! .......
“Go to the tough place but leave before it makes you hard, Go to the soft place but leave before it makes you soft.”
Maybe I just have cribbed a lot in the past or maybe I am loosing the flowing blood in me, or It is just that I have some hidden philosophy which is operating in my subconscious. Whatever it might be I am completely unaware of this!!!
I thought it is the time to find what it really is???? .....
Ummmmm...hmmmmm.......hmmmmmmm.......
Transience........yessssssssssss!!!!!
Transience it is.......
Transience is the answer to my question.....may be I have come to soak up the real meaning of this word lately. May be rather than following that old man’s idea I am giving much more value to being happy.
But the question is still there how transience applies to this thought.....
“Sometime you get what you love, sometimes you have to love what you get....but if you play nice in both you always end up doing what you love.”
Not departing from the transience......
Satisfaction is an unstable and futile thing; I see change as most constant and having tangible existence.
Set of bad emotions and feeling which appears so real to us sometimes cause most dissatisfaction and unhappiness. The truth is, it is not this presence of bad time that affects us!!! Deep down it is the feeling that it might never end.
We live in the constant fear of not being able to come out of this fucked period. It is more like a dream wherein you see yourself stuck in some scary island going through many horrible things and you just cannot see yourself surviving for long.
Any type of undesired period is just our mental creation it has no real existence....because the only fate any bad period has is...... it will change into some good cozy spring season of life.....This transience nature of life is the bless and probably now I am more sure and have rather more faith into my life than ever before.
I just got back from university. Enjoying the liberty of living in the calm country side kinda place I seldom see more than two people or two- three cars every time I walk out or into my house. This calm lake side, which has few villas( mostly made up of woods and sitting independently with a lawn) and populated by the people who have already seen the whole world and came here to live in peace and natural beauty.
The place which allows enough of pure distilled air to enter your lungs, making sure you feel the state of tranquillity. I clearly see how this place successfully running away from all the labyrinth of the contemporary world. I can see how my emotions (all of them) are gaining some tangible existence. This place which gave classification to all forms of feelings which were all messed up earlier.
Strolling in the living room sipping through coffee it just struck me... do I really like it or just flowing through the waves? I should be a normal being cribbing, questioning, dissatisfied and should be buying daily digest of “the grass is greener on the other side”. But I don’t feel anything of that sort!!!!
What happened to the idea that old man gave to me!!!! .......
“Go to the tough place but leave before it makes you hard, Go to the soft place but leave before it makes you soft.”
Maybe I just have cribbed a lot in the past or maybe I am loosing the flowing blood in me, or It is just that I have some hidden philosophy which is operating in my subconscious. Whatever it might be I am completely unaware of this!!!
I thought it is the time to find what it really is???? .....
Ummmmm...hmmmmm.......hmmmmmmm.......
Transience........yessssssssssss!!!!!
Transience it is.......
Transience is the answer to my question.....may be I have come to soak up the real meaning of this word lately. May be rather than following that old man’s idea I am giving much more value to being happy.
But the question is still there how transience applies to this thought.....
“Sometime you get what you love, sometimes you have to love what you get....but if you play nice in both you always end up doing what you love.”
Not departing from the transience......
Satisfaction is an unstable and futile thing; I see change as most constant and having tangible existence.
Set of bad emotions and feeling which appears so real to us sometimes cause most dissatisfaction and unhappiness. The truth is, it is not this presence of bad time that affects us!!! Deep down it is the feeling that it might never end.
We live in the constant fear of not being able to come out of this fucked period. It is more like a dream wherein you see yourself stuck in some scary island going through many horrible things and you just cannot see yourself surviving for long.
Any type of undesired period is just our mental creation it has no real existence....because the only fate any bad period has is...... it will change into some good cozy spring season of life.....This transience nature of life is the bless and probably now I am more sure and have rather more faith into my life than ever before.
The Road Least Taken!!!
I took the road mostly taken
There were humps and there was crowd
Its messy and I ended up losing myself
At First
Losing the self was pacifying
Losing the self was confusing
Losing the self was teasing
Losing the self was different
I took the road mostly taken
I ended up losing myself
Then...and then
I saw the wind changing direction
I saw the crowd frowning on me
I saw the crowd mocking on me
I saw the dusk gripping the daylight
I took the road mostly taken
I sensed things going against me
I sensed the setting sun saying something to me
I sensed the dusk saying there will be no dawn
I sensed mocking crowd saying u took the wrong road
I sensed the frowning faces saying you don’t belong here
I decided to turn back and take the road least taken
The road least taken......
There were humps and there was crowd
Its messy and I ended up losing myself
At First
Losing the self was pacifying
Losing the self was confusing
Losing the self was teasing
Losing the self was different
I took the road mostly taken
I ended up losing myself
Then...and then
I saw the wind changing direction
I saw the crowd frowning on me
I saw the crowd mocking on me
I saw the dusk gripping the daylight
I took the road mostly taken
I sensed things going against me
I sensed the setting sun saying something to me
I sensed the dusk saying there will be no dawn
I sensed mocking crowd saying u took the wrong road
I sensed the frowning faces saying you don’t belong here
I decided to turn back and take the road least taken
The road least taken......
Few things never change...
Sometimes thoughts bleed,
Sometimes dreams appear while awake,
Sometimes feelings spill out,
Sometimes expressions find way of express...
Thoughts bleed and give a way to new thoughts,
Dreams appear and give reason to live one more day,
Feelings spill out and give the sense of existence,
Expressions express what u felt....
They say.....
Thoughts change,
Dreams disappear,
Feelings get modified,
Expression gets better.....
I want to say my thoughts have changed
I want to say bad dreams are gone
I want to say i have feelings which are more clear and soothing..
I want to say i have found the ways to expression....
But........
My thoughts are still rigid
My Dreams are still frozen
My feelings are still wage
My expressions are still unexpressed....
And i could just say
Its funny, how few things never change...........
Sometimes dreams appear while awake,
Sometimes feelings spill out,
Sometimes expressions find way of express...
Thoughts bleed and give a way to new thoughts,
Dreams appear and give reason to live one more day,
Feelings spill out and give the sense of existence,
Expressions express what u felt....
They say.....
Thoughts change,
Dreams disappear,
Feelings get modified,
Expression gets better.....
I want to say my thoughts have changed
I want to say bad dreams are gone
I want to say i have feelings which are more clear and soothing..
I want to say i have found the ways to expression....
But........
My thoughts are still rigid
My Dreams are still frozen
My feelings are still wage
My expressions are still unexpressed....
And i could just say
Its funny, how few things never change...........
Raison d'être !!!
Swimming in the sea, Searching for shore
Fighting through the waves...shaked by storm many times
Floating on still sunny water..touched by soothing water
Oblivious me soaking the pleasure, Fighter me fighting the waves
but still searching for accomodation
I search for shore.......
The shore i could see far, could be an illusion
The shore i see might just be a reverie
The shore i am yet to find might be a lonely island
The shore which i will find might be a ville
Hope is what kept me going
Will is what kept me fighting the waves
Feelings are what kept me floating
Curiosity is what kept me searching
I must know....
Hope is not going anywhere
Will is gonna be strenghten with passing time
Feelings will always be rejuvenated by emotions
and death will be the end of curiosity
With everyday passing...My anticipation is growing
One day....and one fine day i will find a shore....
The Raison d'être..........The Raison d'être !!!
Fighting through the waves...shaked by storm many times
Floating on still sunny water..touched by soothing water
Oblivious me soaking the pleasure, Fighter me fighting the waves
but still searching for accomodation
I search for shore.......
The shore i could see far, could be an illusion
The shore i see might just be a reverie
The shore i am yet to find might be a lonely island
The shore which i will find might be a ville
Hope is what kept me going
Will is what kept me fighting the waves
Feelings are what kept me floating
Curiosity is what kept me searching
I must know....
Hope is not going anywhere
Will is gonna be strenghten with passing time
Feelings will always be rejuvenated by emotions
and death will be the end of curiosity
With everyday passing...My anticipation is growing
One day....and one fine day i will find a shore....
The Raison d'être..........The Raison d'être !!!
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